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Sunday, December 29, 2013

late night thoughts

the idea of a new year's resolution seems a tad cliche, but who am I kidding, I caught myself scribbling a list of lessons I strive to carry on with me into the new year and stumbled upon this;
here it goes:

1) Silence is a rare companion, do not fear it. Going for a walk, eating a meal by yourself, or even sitting & letting your thoughts wander are all things that your mind needs. Many people are afraid of being alone for two reasons: one, people will look at them and think they have no friends and two, they are afraid of what their mind will tell them when nothing is distracting it. I'm saying that silence is your friend. Once you get over the awkwardness and vulnerability, it can be beautiful.
I encourage you to get some solitude at any point in the day, make time for it.

2) Tell yourself one thing that you like about yourself everyday.  It is important for you to love yourself, and even on the days where you feel crummy, dig deep down and find even the smallest trait you like about yourself, and say it, out loud. Look in a mirror and compliment yourself on things that come from your heart and personality, nothing outer. See how and where that takes you with the concept of love.

3) For the Lord's sake, put your smartphone away. This is one thing I am extremely passionate about, in particular. Now this is not to say I am not guilty as charged, because I am. (Do not forget these pointers are for me as well). Anyways, just put your phone away as much as possible. When you are at a meal, hanging out with family,  doing something fun, or watching the sunset, resist the urge to capture every moment instantly and actually live the moment for a little. Does it matter more that your Instagram followers remember your experience than you, yourself? Embrace the present moment you are in and just live it. Anyone and anything on your phone can and will wait.

Which brings me to my next point:

4) Delete as many social media as possible. Let's be honest. Do you genuinely care about your high school friends and what they are doing every hour? If the answer is no, then who cares about social media! Yes, indeed use it for friends and family you are interested in but strip yourself away from the rest of the social media world, because trust me, the people that care about how you are and what you are doing will make an effort to reach out and ask you, no proof or picture necessary.

5) Use your emotions to their fullest capacity. By this I mean, let yourself feel. Cry when you need to, don't try and hide it. Can we just all agree that attempting to hold back your tears in front of others is the worst thing ever. Love fiercely and never stop telling people how much you love them, even at super random times. Love unconditionally, even when it's really hard to. Just be the kind of friend that you would rely on.

6) Hangout with older people. I don't mean like cool people in their twenties, I mean like your parents and grandparents. It is seriously surprising how rewarding it is to talk to older people about life and their experiences. You never know what you can learn about family members and what you can apply to your own life. Old people rule.

7) Don't set imaginary boundaries. Do not think that you live within some wall that prevents you from doing something completely insane and awesome. Like for example, living in a different country. Whoever said that America was our only option? Some people may find it crazy, but hey, we have a lot of other countries that need exploring. And why do the same things day in and day out in the same town? When your friends ask you what you want to do tonight, stray away from the usual movies or dinner locally and go find someplace unknown, out of town, and explore. Why do the same thing you did last weekend?

8) Find something you loved to do as a kid, and take it up. I recently started taking dance lessons again and I have never been happier with my decision. I know some may think that it's "too late" or "too ridiculous" to try something new or pursue a passion, but that is dead wrong. Find that one thing that you used to love to do as kid or has always fascinated you and give it a shot. I'm not saying make a career out of it, but you're missing out if you're not doing challenging things that make you happy.

9) Create some outlet to express yourself. Now this might be something as simple as journaling, or maybe a hobby. But engage in daily activity that gets your mind working and your thoughts flowing. Writing, singing, dancing, drawing, painting, making music, taking pictures, whatever it is, allow your mind an escape for a little while to play. Writing your thoughts down on a journal can also help you process life better and get a good grasp on situations.

Last:

10) Do what you want. Simple. Go out and do whatever the hell you want to do. Stop putting up with things that do not make you happy and please, please stop saying sorry for things that you are not sorry for. Wear what you want, and do not give a crap about what anyone will think.  Listen to headphones and dance on the street and not worry about looking like a fool. Hangout with people that will lift you up and make you happy. Just do whatever it takes to fill your life with joy. There's no time for anything else.

With that being said, make 2014 kick-ass.

*Inspiration behind this post: Resolution by Matt Corby

Thursday, December 5, 2013

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.” 
― Jack Kerouac

Sunday, December 1, 2013

a very [thank]ful time off


 Thanksgiving break was unexpectedly needed:

 I went into the week expecting huge reunions and instead, I found that the older people get, the more friendships you weed away. You start to realize that only a few friendships last through the years, and to say it blatantly, you stop caring about those high school friend groups and grow out of it.
That's where I'm at right now, so I went home and had this reality check of the life I'm living now. I realized how thankful I was that I am where I am. Regardless of some circumstances that suck at the moment, God is most definitely at work. Praise Him for His faithfulness.

I also realized that me and my few best friends do life differently than the rest. We swim "upstream".
We stay out til' 2 am talking about the depths of life, trek to the beach late at night and dance around on the sand feelin' alive and crazy and cry until our stomachs hurt.
We make Christ the center of it all.
That's what's so different about us. Nobody gets the way we live, and I love that. Maybe that's why more and more friendships seem unimportant to me because I'm seeing who sticks around and matures.

To wrap it up, I had such a blessed thanksgiving. My week was filled with much needed family time, adventures, good food, chasing sunsets, christmas decorating, and lots of laughter.

Here are a few pictures to sum up my time home;

1)  Late night beach adventure; dancing & screaming on the 
     sand

2) A random, stumbled upon mural that amused me

 3) My bestest friend whom I missed dearly, cali sunset, oh &   
   McClain's tea
                                                                           
4) Inspiring & delicious lunch date with Alex at Cafe 109

5) Obligatory shots of the cotton candy skies on my roof 

6) Decorating the tree with a giddy spirit // my absolute
    favorite christmas festivity

7) A late night trip to the sketchy yet savory Molcasalsa with 
    the reunited trio filled with loads of laughter and yummy
    quesdillas 










Sunday, November 17, 2013

the good stuff

I'm just now starting to realize that people never warn you about the hard things in life. They'll never be real with you and say, "Hey, this might not be what you expected and you might be let down. It could be a really shitty or depressing part of life for a moment." 
It isn't until your high expectations are rudely interrupted by the reality that nothing will ever be exactly as you imagined. It is only in the moments that you do not set standards and ideals that something beautiful and unexpected will come out of it. 
I'll be honest, college is really hard. Starting over is hard, and that's basically what happens when you go to college. No matter how many people smile through the pain and say everything's great, I know theres something. There's always something or someone that when reminded of, can make your heart ache, or your eyes water, or your mind wander. That right there is the good stuff. 
Now you might think, wait what? The moment you feel like you can't take it anymore, that's the 'good stuff'? I'd argue, yes it is.
Because in that very moment you're just being. You're feeling. You're in sync with the very emotions you were created to feel, and that's beauty. When you can cry, and scream, and fall to your knees you can just be present. You're alive and in touch with your senses. 
What can be better? The sadness fades, but for that very moment just embrace that life is hard. It's real. It's never going to be easy. So let yourself feel like shit for a couple minutes, then move on. You'd be surprised to find that you might not be the only one dealing with life, but you're the first one to be honest about it. 
Remember, this is the good stuff. When you can feel, even when you're sad or dissatisfied with life, that's when you find your identity. When you find yourself on your knees, at the end of your rope, that's when you are being shaped and grown. In those moments, you trying to figure out the emptiness inside you and what you're going to do about it. You're trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be. That's the very essence of our existence; to feel.
To feel the weight of loneliness, to feel lost, to feel joyful, to feel alive. 
So for now, just be. I don't mean soak in your misery, but be real with yourself and know it's okay to not be okay. 
You are growing, you are learning, you are feeling, therefore you are living. And THAT, is the good stuff. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Tuesday, October 29, 2013


Getting in the Pumpkin Spirit 


                             

                    





My lovely roommate and I ventured to the local Pumpkin Patch yesterday and got our dosage of halloween fun for the season. What a joyous time of year it is to be a child again---- playing in the mud, picking out pumpkins, frolicking through sunflowers.
I've been pondering long and hard about why us Californians obsess over this time of year and I think I'm starting to put my finger on it. When October leaves roll in and the long awaited boots and scarves are racked out, there is a crispness that fills the air. A type of air that fills up the lungs and provides new opportunity. Opportunity to start all over again and forget about the previous season and all its troubles. An opportunity to bury the scents and memories of summer and look forward into the future. Fall gives people the chance to smell new things, like pumpkins, rain, lattes, and pine cones. It's a time to hop on a plane and reunite with old times and friends. Fall gives people newness.  New adventures, new scents, new music, new skies, new opportunity.

"It already smells like fall, and I'm glad, because the summer smelt like you."  (KeyWrites.) 

Getting in the Pumpkin Spirit

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

fading faces

Something I've realized: This is the time that friendships either sustain or drown
Just as the leaves begin falling off their branches, the ever-lasting friendships created in high school are dwindling before your eyes
people pack away their memories in boxes and ship themselves off into the unknown, you can't help but wonder: will things ever be the same?
growing up is molding people into mere photographs and memories.
the more faces I meet, the more I have to let certain ones go
so many faces
beautiful faces that are slowly fading