It isn't until your high expectations are rudely interrupted by the reality that nothing will ever be exactly as you imagined. It is only in the moments that you do not set standards and ideals that something beautiful and unexpected will come out of it.
I'll be honest, college is really hard. Starting over is hard, and that's basically what happens when you go to college. No matter how many people smile through the pain and say everything's great, I know theres something. There's always something or someone that when reminded of, can make your heart ache, or your eyes water, or your mind wander. That right there is the good stuff.
Now you might think, wait what? The moment you feel like you can't take it anymore, that's the 'good stuff'? I'd argue, yes it is.
Because in that very moment you're just being. You're feeling. You're in sync with the very emotions you were created to feel, and that's beauty. When you can cry, and scream, and fall to your knees you can just be present. You're alive and in touch with your senses.
What can be better? The sadness fades, but for that very moment just embrace that life is hard. It's real. It's never going to be easy. So let yourself feel like shit for a couple minutes, then move on. You'd be surprised to find that you might not be the only one dealing with life, but you're the first one to be honest about it.
Remember, this is the good stuff. When you can feel, even when you're sad or dissatisfied with life, that's when you find your identity. When you find yourself on your knees, at the end of your rope, that's when you are being shaped and grown. In those moments, you trying to figure out the emptiness inside you and what you're going to do about it. You're trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be. That's the very essence of our existence; to feel.
To feel the weight of loneliness, to feel lost, to feel joyful, to feel alive.
So for now, just be. I don't mean soak in your misery, but be real with yourself and know it's okay to not be okay.
You are growing, you are learning, you are feeling, therefore you are living. And THAT, is the good stuff.
